8 Degree

It's Thursday, almost reaching Friday. And guess what?
Tomorrow is my last day of school. That's damn fast that five weeks of school have passed and now I have reached the end of my first term. Next week would be all about studying and hopefully still some fun in between.
All study and no dessert makes Joyce an angry kitty.

Funny random things to do in class today. Since we were almost done with our essays and just left with the submission, we had free period instead, aka nothing to do for three hours.
The day before, I was playing Pokemon on my laptop. Super old school.
And today I was just on Facebook and Instagram, silently begging people to update their status or something for me to stalk. That is until my battery almost died.

Did random weird things in class like removing my piercing and OMG. It freaking hurts like crazy. I mean I just had two pierced last week, and one was healing alright, but the other is hurting me like a bitch. And the ear was kind of getting a bit swollen (Oh GOSH). So today I just did the worst thing to myself. The piercing was getting stuck into my ear, since firstly the ear was getting more swollen (I don't know why) so when it started swelling, the piercing depth is only that much, which mean it almost got covered by my ear skin. Great, I don't know how to explain or show. But pretty much, I had to rip the piercing out, yes literally, my friend beside me heard the ripping sound and got a shock. Almost cried in agony, and had to stop the minor bleeding session. Everything just sounded like a horror movie.
But just to make things sound nicer, nothing bad happened in the end, no infection (thank goodness!), just replaced the first stud with another and now it's look better. Blah blah blah. Moving on. I bought two new studs from nex today! And they had to be my favorite characters as well. Just fell in love.
One was a Batman logo stud. Another was Nightmare before Christmas.
And and and! I found that x-craft sells the Batman logo pendant. Super debate whether I should purchase it. SIGH.

ANYWAY....

It's been a while since I did a little blogging about food places I visited.
This evening I just tried out another new food place, and to think it's so near to my church and yet I didn't find the opportunity to try it.
Even heard my cousin talking about it, but yet it just doesn't seem to be on my food hunt list UNTIL.... The store put up a groupon deal. Damn.
I was won over, bought the deal and made a day out to eat at this place. Damn you cheap deal, making me buy you and making me go there to eat and fatdie.

Anyway, back to the point, here I am (like finally) to try the food out.
And it is said they named the restaurant after Jay Chou's song.
P.S. I never really listen to much of his songs so I'm not sure which one. But the whole place is decorated with his pictures, and even the background music was his songs. The owner definitely a big fan of him.

Ordered a milk tea with rose dips?
Taste pretty much like Bandung. But pretty much what I needed, something sweet and something refreshing for my throat.
Something like itching my throat the whole day and it's annoying.

Egg rolls with pork floss.
And Ashley was telling me about how he ate this in Taiwan and the awesomeness of this dish, but somehow I kind of disappointed him when I had one, and just went nah, don't find it that nice or special.
Maybe I haven't tried the one in Taiwan, so this one I just found it to be alright. Like it's a nice dish, egg rolls with pork floss, but I just don't see anything special about it.
They ought to add bacon, lots and lots of bacon to make it special and awesome.

Simple fried rice.
And again with pork floss. The secret to making dish taste nice? Add pork floss.
But this dish is nice, together with shrimps added.

And now here the beef noddles and the dish that my cousin told me I should try if I ever come here to eat.
So hey, I'm eating it!
The beef is so tender and soft, almost melting in my mouth. Damn, they need to add more pieces, and perhaps in smaller pieces so it seemed like I have more to eat. LOL!
Funny thing, we requested for small bowls so that we can scoop out half to share instead of sharing from one bowl. And they gave us this super small, short bowls, in which it seemed like those appetizer bowl. Erm much?

Our three main course to share.
Simple yet not too bad dinner.

But of course with every dinner, there's kind of a need for dessert.
I don't know about you, but I'm a super dessert person. But that of course depend on the meal as well, and whether they have nice dessert on the menu.

Tonight dessert slightly different. We're having honey butter toast, and topped with marshmallow and strawberries!
Sweetness overloaded! Damn. In one day I had too much fried and sweet food.
Gentle reminder to run it off tomorrow evening at stadium.

But it became flat tofu after Ashley murdered it into smaller pieces.
There goes giant toast, and now we're eating tofu-looking toast for dessert.

But that's our dinner tonight. Our total bill came up to about $39.
The groupon deal that I bought is paying $10 for a $20 voucher, so technically the dinner is $10 off.
Until the next time I purchase another online deal for a new place to try!

8 Degrees Taiwanese Bistro
164 Yio Chu Kang Road
Tel: 62848226

Puking rainbow

Another attempt at baking again, and this time I'm going with more colors.
From the previous traffic light cupcake/cake in a jar, I decided to go with 3 more layers. And finally I got my blue dye. Like super happy that Shermin bought it for me, after my pathetic attempt at finding it at Fairprice and Giant.

This baking session is going full scale as my friend would be joining me as well, and she is going to bake 15 cups of puking rainbow while I'm baking a dozen. With that in mind, I decide to cheat a little and rely on cake mix to get the work done faster, as well to know that it would be easier to get my proportions right for the total amount we plan on baking.

Three packets of cake mix bought just for this session. And I was still worried if it won't be enough. But my next attempt (I know again, omg right, so much cupcake) will be purely from mixing the flour, egg, milk and food stuffs. No more cake mix.

My pretty food coloring waiting to be used.

We gradually add in the ingredients into the mixture until they are well-mixed before they were divided equally (I tried to be as equal as possible!) into six bowls.

Once they are divided, that's when the coloring fun begins.
And it's seriously fun to see how bright or how much coloring you want to add to each bowl.
The purple at the beginning we had a little trouble and it turned slightly grey (horrified face) and after adding more red, it eventually turn to the right shade of purple. Thank goodness.
It's like a mixture of pastel colors!

I learned from past experience that it's a super tedious job to slowly scoop the mixture into the cupcake tray bit by bit. Super time wasting and you really got to have the patience for it.
Instead of repeating the mistake, now I rely on using plastic bag to get the job done faster, easier and cleaner.
Just pour the mixture all into individual plastic bag, and please remember to tie a knot at the end.
And once ready, snip off one end of the plastic bag, and of a right size to get the piping started.

After two layers... One third done.

The whole time, the color mixing just reminds me of sand art.
The kind where you just put sands of different colors into a bottle, and at the top, you plant a cactus. 

My pretty color layers before they are ready to be placed into the oven.
Super excited about how the color will turn out, and how pretty they would be.

But I got kind of too ambitious and decided to all into the oven at once, to save time on doing two batches.
So that's how overflowing my oven became.
And as mentioned in the previous baking post, it is important that when baking in a jar, to place them in a water bath, to ensure that the bottom part doesn't get burnt.
But my worst mistake as well.
At the top, my muffin got cooked too fast, and I wasn't watching them carefully and unfortunately, they got BURNT.
My heart just broke.
Couldn't bear to take any pictures of the burnt top, but even with cutting off the burnt part, my puking rainbow cupcake got reduced by two layers.
Really disappointed with myself for not looking at the oven regularly and taking note when my puking rainbow are ready to be puked at.

So that's kind of how it looked like after I slashed the top off. Not quite a pretty sight.

The 'rejects'. But least they weren't immediately deemed as inedible and be thrown away. Thank goodness.
Mummy to the rescue and helped me to cut off the top burnt part, so that the rest can be eaten as snacks instead.

When all things doesn't go well, quickly cover it with cream cheese frosting instead!
The rare times where you are grateful for frosting and rainbow sprinkles to take the attention away. But then at that moment, I was determined to not give away my baking. Like I don't think I would be happy giving someone my baking that isn't my best. But unfortunately that mean my family members have to eat a dozen cupcakes instead.

The rare perfect one! Must treasure it.

As for the cup ones, they turn out pretty.
From the top view, it's super pretty how the layers turn out. Reminds me of a science experiment.
Once they were out of the oven, I placed them in a water bath as well to cool them down fast.
Had to wait at least 20 minutes before I decide that they were cool down enough to put the frosting on top.
Main reason is that if you do the frosting straight after they are out of the oven, the frosting would literally 'melt' on them instead because of the heat. And we do not want that to happen at all.

Meow. Random picture of my failed cupcakes.
Can roughly see the purple, blue, green and orange. A little bit of yellow, but no red.
Okay, that's the only picture I shall post of my puking rainbow.

I like the puking rainbow in the cup instead. Much prettier and the layers are easier seen.

Puking rainbow recipe:
I used 3 packets of Betty Crocker super moist cake mix
9 eggs
1.5 cups of oil
1.5 cups of water
Red, Blue, Yellow, Green coloring

For the frosting:
1.5 container of philadelphia cream cheese
1 cup icing sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
Rainbow sprinkles

Until my next baking adventure... till then it's the start of a new week, and it's my last week of first term! Time sure pass very fast when you lease expect it. So next week it's my study week, probably going to bake when I'm bored from studying. And run in the morning to kill the calories. 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers!

A personal post this Sunday for my mother. Today is Mother's Day and especially for my mother, I feel that she deserve all love and attention today, but not just today but everyday. After everything that she did for me, it's only fair.

From a year ago till now, and even longer back into time, I have disappointed, hurt, broken trust with her countless times and despite everything, she was still there trying to reach to me and showing me that she still cares.

Many times maybe the method that she used wasn't the one that I wanted, I just wanted her to do things my way instead and accept the way I am without asking questions or even controlling me. Those were the worst rebellious times and looking back, I wonder how much my mother was suffering then to bear with me.

I ran away from home, not once but twice. I remembered her face when I walked out of the home and told her I don't want to come back to this house ever again, and empathize on the word that it was nothing more than a house. Her face when I ran from the gate and refused to let her chase me, and even when she caught up to me, I ran again. It was horrible, it was mean and it was hurting. Staying away from home for a week, and not caring whether I have any plans to return home. Even at the airport, when I turned my back against her and ran away from the family holidays trip. How much more can a mother take, I really don't know. I saw her face when I ran down the escalator, I knew how much it is going to hurt, but at that point of time, I didn't care.

But yet time and time again, she didn't give up on me. She could have easily give in, surrender and said that she is washing her hands off me. Leave me to do whatever I want, and don't care anymore about me, let me live my own life, throw me out of the house and leave me to survive on my own. But why didn't she?

That's why when they said a mother's love knows no limit, knows no boundary, it is very true.
A year ago, when the biggest argument happen, and cause the biggest strain between us. So much that for months it was constant argument, frustration, anger and hurt. So much unhappiness occurring in the home. So much argument and so much shouting and screaming. Everyday was a constant pain to go back, that I rather stay out late outside than to return home. It's knowing how much my mood would change 180 degree the moment I step through the gates.

It took so much energy, reflection, time, forgiveness for both of us to reach back to the stage we are today. Only a handful of close friends knew how much happened a year ago, how much I went through, how much trouble was caused. And till today, I still have that police report against me. I still am in my one year probation. Yes, I am under probation. Can't believe it right?

But through that, I learned so much, I learned to open up much more, I learned to be stronger in life and appreciate my mother so much more. I learned to see how much she sacrifice for the family. How much love she have for me, and how much she wants me to calm down.

Then I didn't see it, all I see it is how she wanted me to suffer, how she wanted to bring me back from Australia. I dropped back into depression, I locked myself inside the room for a month, I refused to eat or do anything and days were spent mindlessly in front of the computer, in front of Skype crying,  and doing the worst of slashing again. The whole month was feeling down and I didn't want to talk to anyone in the house, all I wanted to do is get out and get the next flight back to Australia. So much negative thoughts and they all had to be suicidal.

Looking back to how I feel a year ago really makes me realize how much I have improved from that condition. How much I have grown. It's not any easy process, it takes time, effort and most of all, LOVE.

I laughed at myself with amusement when I realized that one of my new year resolution just got broken.
That is not letting life get me down.
When life finally hits me down and I struggled to fight it back.
Lately it's a step down in emotion again, and at times I don't want to wear the fake mask, at times I just want to step away from all emotional attachment and say that I won't let it bother it.
But even as much as I try, I know I can't do that.
I let it affect me, I let it bother me and now I let it take over my thinking.
Yes this is bad.
What is happening between us.

Treasured moments

Met up with my awesome accomplices last night and we had the best time ever.
And to think it was more than a month since the last time we went out. Tsk at our busy schedule. But even with the month apart, it still doesn't feel we haven't go out in a long time. Really love that about both of them, and also about our impulsive decision to go places.
From meeting up at Ion for dinner, to heading down to Clarke Quay for drinks.
Joanna even brought for us dinner from her workplace, and I had to empathize about the Stamford catering 'cause the rice was so good!
And our healthy drinks of carrot and celery for me, apple and lemon for Joanna, and Skye had lemon barley.

At Clarke Quay, got rejected by a few clubs because I was in slippers and well, I couldn't get in for that reason. But finally at Cassis we managed to go in for two drinks. One Vodka cranberry and a tequila shot. Even the bartender had a shot with us!

Finally it's finding Skye at the Beer Market. He ordered this dark beer (unsure of the name) and lychee beer for me just 'cause I don't really like the taste of beer. And fries too!
Our fun photo-taking session, and joking the whole night away.

'I dare you to pull down your pants now to show the size and I'll give you a blowjob!'

Hahah! Unfortunately time passed too fast and we all needed to head back 'cause we had to wake up early today. Until our next crazy fun session.

Overly sensitive

Pretty much a rare post where I just want to rant everything out, and the possibility that I don't care who will read it, or that I'm even talking about the person.

Lately the mood have been ups and downs, but mainly downs. A shot of adrenalin rush once in a while to boost the energy level, but other than that, I just feel that it's putting on a mask again just to hide how I feel inside, and showing others that I'm alright, I'm strong and hey, I won't let life bring me down.

Here's a walk into a year ago post where then, I was still super negative, still struggling with life and figuring things out. Then I guess when life doesn't go out the way we want it to be, we struggle, we lost control, we lost our direction, and we stumble down. For someone who went on the edge of killing herself, and question so many times why isn't she dead, I guess that's a lot to pick up from.

One thing that I enjoy about blogging, is reading past blog entries and realize how much you have changed over the years. And you know you're the one who typed the entry and that's how you feel at that moment while typing and who knows, maybe a few years from now, I would look back at this entry and feel even better that I have grown up so much since then. Then again, it's of course if I don't delete this blog. Since I started blogging from 16 till now, deleted quite a number of blog and now looking back, maybe it was better to keep them, like private them that only I can read.

Anyway, losing the focus. This few days haven't been the best days of this period of starting school, maybe it could be because that I have my first class test this week, or that I have an essay due. But knowing me, usually its the least of my concern. Not that I don't care much about studies but it's not really my things to scream and shout over assignment when I know I would finish/revise them on time.

It's frustration within. Sometimes holding another person's emotional burden and placing on myself gives more strains that it should have. One of my ex always tell me how he carry others' emotional burden when they burden him down with their issues, problems and worries. And how he tries to lend the best listening ear and give advice to them accordingly. It's definitely not an easy job, but for that person whom you care about, it's worth the job. That's how friendship, relationship are, you trust the person with your emotional, your insecurities, your bare naked soul and know that the person would be there to catch you if you fall, be there beside you in terms of needs and know when you need that little gentle push.

I'm not saying how every advice should be taken, but at times it's good to take a step back and see the whole situation before making decision. While other times maybe it's also good to take a daring step and see the reaction. But in whichever decision you make, like I always say (even though I might not approve), I will support you fully in it.

Sometimes we need to learn to let go and stand on our own, other times, we want/need someone to lean on and feel their arms around us. Either way, it's own time, own target that we grow. But one day we will get there, and that's when we know what we want in life, and aim to achieve it. 
Like now, I'm aiming to increase my distance to run more than 5 clicks and actually not pant so much during the last click. And hopefully by end May I would be comfortable running 10 clicks.

More random ranting. Still don't really know what are we. Sometimes it feel like strangers, other times it feel like friends, and sometimes it feels like in a relationship. Maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I'm reading too much into everything. But can't blame either, we girls have the tendency to over-think every situation, every word, every action. And yet, even with explanation, we still can't get it either.

It's like finding both good and bad in something, and wondering whether it's good OR bad. Other times, it's like secretly wondering if you notice the little things that I post, or like whether you even seen what I posted. Instead of you asking me if I have seen what you have posted. In case you're wondering, yes I do see every post, but it's just a matter of whether I want to admit that I have seen it or just saying no about it. There's a stalker button which puts you on my favorite list of people to stalk.

It's the same as making the effort to take the lift/stairs up almost everyday. What happen if for a week, I just stop doing that. Would it bother you, or matter that I'm not there. Maybe I'm just waiting for some sort of initiative, some sort of affirmation, or some sort of signal or action that would change my mind, that would secure me and that would let me know that I'm actually still on your mind somehow.

At the beginning, it's always fun and laughing, all happy time and no argument, but as it continue on, and as it begin to get serious, things would get complicated, difficult and that we have to sit down and talk things out. Feelings come in, and jealousy occur. It's all part and parcels of the process.

Maybe I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. Maybe I'm just feeling lost and want to learn how to be on my own, after being in relationships after relationships. Maybe we're two different people having two different goals now, that it is tearing us apart. Or maybe it's just two different levels of relationship that we're looking at, and there's nothing in the middle at the moment to compromise.

Traffic light cupcakes

A rare attempt of going back to baking again, considering I left all of my baking items in Australia and I'm pretty sure Claudia had helped herself to all of the items.
Major sigh about it. My electric hand mixer, my food coloring, my biscuit molds, baking tray, everything. Oh gosh why.

So it was time to get everything again, and keeping it in Singapore, a slow start, but for now I managed to get the baking tray first. Shall get the electric hand mixer next and more food coloring!
It was post-labor day blue and I'm in the kitchen thinking of what to bake. My original idea was to bake rainbow cupcakes, but apparently the whole of Singapore supermarket was against it that I couldn't find any blue coloring. Headed down to Nex in the afternoon, and both Fairprice and Cold Storage were out of stock. Bad luck much?

A change of plans and since I only three colors, let's do a traffic light cupcake instead.

Three bowls of my traffic light colors; green, yellow and red.
And it's time to pipe down into the baking tray.
The first time I did these layer cupcakes, it was pure torture. I was spooning carefully into each muffin holes and trying to even out the layers. Today I figured that I don't want to torture myself too much and decided to scoop the mixture into plastic bag, cut a hole at the bottom and just pipe them in. Much easier and fun method.
And after piping in, I would use the spoon to smooth out the layer before I add the next color layer.

And here are two special jars for my tasters.
Making two cupcakes in a jar for them to try, and if it's good, I shall make them in future as gifts to friends.
But in the meanwhile, with every baking session, there's always a need for tasters. Very important job.

Once the green is done, next is yellow.

So that's the overall color of the jars.
Had to place them in a water bath just in case they cracked on me while baking, and that is definitely not good at all.
Wasn't exactly sure how the outcome would be like since it's my first time baking in Singapore, and baking these cupcakes in a jar.
It's amazing mom haven't officially banned me from baking.

 
Impatient bakers waiting outside the oven for the cupcakes to rise.

And finally they're done!
The ones in the tray were baked way faster than the ones in the jars. Reckon that the jars had more quantity and also 'cause it was in a jar, heat might be harder to bake them and for the air to be released.
It was like an additional 10-15 minutes for them to bake.

The layers are out!

And well, with such pretty delicates, you just have to spam pictures.

The jars were finally ready to be taken out, and they were exploding!
Lesson learned, don't make the layers too high, best to fill it up to half of the jar's size would be right, 'cause in baking, they tend to rise and we don't want them to be over flowing either.

A spoon was used to scoop out the excess and that's when we get a taste of the baking.
Wasn't that sweet, especially when only half the amount of sugar was added in, but just of a good taste.

It's a freaking traffic light in a jar!

What's next once the cupcakes are cooled?
Frosting!
Threw the cupcakes (not literally) in the freezer while I prepare the frosting.
The cupcakes needed to be cooled down before any frosting can be added, else it would just melt on my cupcakes 'cause of the heat.

And that's all the final products after 3.5 hours of spending in the kitchen, from baking it to frosting it to decorating it.
Well spend afternoon I'll say.
Pat on the back for a good first attempt and until more baking session to come.
Till then, I'm making a list of what I want to bake, and spamming internet for good reliable, easy recipes to follow.