HAPPY 2014!
Who knew 2013 would pass so fast. Then again that's what we always say at the beginning of a new year. Hahah. Before I know it, it would be 2015.
One thing for sure, there would be much to look forward to this year, a few (or a lot) stress periods here and there and uncertainty and perhaps doubt in the first half of the year, but I do hope I can pull it through and make it there. Never going to give up and perhaps find some changes here and there for new studying methods and being more determined in other area (yes I need to start running again).
As always, the question pop in my mind of what have I achieved last year. I must say I have achieved much more than the other years. It's the year of excitement and forgiveness, a year of moving on and learning new things, a year of positiveness and happiness, a year of meeting new friends and remembering old ones, and a year of falling in love all over.
And I end off the year with a freaking new haircut. HAHAH.
I never thought I would be cropping it that short again especially when I was so determined to grow my hair out. OH well. A year of hair growing gone to waste just 'cause I had to bleach and dye so many colours that my poor hair is almost dead. Least now I can pass off as a 16 years old girl (literally) and let my hair grow well again. My love was so happy with my new haircut and even happier when my family approved of it. Though I did bother him the rest of the day be saying on repeat that 'I LOOK WEIRD' and each time he reassures me that I'm not.
And new year resolution? Wrote some in the last blog post, but here another recap for me (or us)
Going to be starting regular gymming/exercising/sports activities with my boy and aiming for a tone body.
Us joining sports events together this year (excited!!)
Less spending of money on cafes, but looking at hawker places for our makan instead but still finding good good places
For me, less hair dyeing and more pampering of my overall well-being
More experimental baking
Better time management
Be more patience and less short-tempered (still an old resolution for the past two years)
Tomorrow it's back to school again as much as I'm reluctant to, but that also means a day closer to Friday and meeting my Bumpy.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Ending 2013
It time to set the priorities in life.
Move on from the past and don't let it affect the future.
The year might not have started well, but that doesn't mean the rest of the year has to be bad.
I started this year with this blog entry, telling myself not to make too many new year resolution but to make just one; to be more positive.
Looking back, I say this year bring about many surprises, ups and downs (as usual), completing many achievements, learning much more, growing up, perhaps smiling more than before and being happier.
I definitely didn't start the year right, having my plans ruined on 31st dec last year, spend countdown on the computer being on Facebook and even the first day of the year went horribly bad. I got forced to go down to mbs to meet HIM when he refused to even pick me up from my home after what happened the night before, kept asking me to meet him there and finally I went down. And the reason why he refused to pick me up is that he is there already with his family, and thought it would be the perfect surprise to have a meal with them.
P.s. background story. I wasn't that close to his family at all and barely felt welcomed when I'm at his place. And no it will never be a surprise having a family meal and especially when I'm in a very bad mood.
The whole journey there was just on whasapp, never a single call to ask where am I or whether I have reached. Only until I finally called him, and he appeared behind me.
Summary, let's just say it started and ended bad.
Moving on, there are still a few achievements that I did this year.
For starters, I ended my job at the dental clinic, which I have very much enjoyed my time there and was quite reluctant to leave. One of the best (or rather the best) workplace that I have worked at. And my colleagues even chipped in to buy me my 21st present.
*awkward smile*
That last week was the most insane week for me, working OT everyday and going home late. Tired, exhausted and super busy.
After I ended work that day, I was flying off to Hong Kong a day later, just in time to celebrate my 21st birthday oversea. One of the things I really wanted to do; go on an oversea trip with my bf.
I hesitated a lot whether I should hold a birthday party but decided against it and just wanted a getaway instead. At the same time, I was that close to cancelling the HK trip as well over unpleasant argument with HIM and the hurtful words thrown at each other. In the end, the trip was continued as planned. I wouldn't say it was a good trip, but just a decent one.
Other achievement include a month of bumming at home, and going out on tourist walks with my uncle. Actually trying to cover as much of Singapore as possible, from botanic gardens, to gardens by the bay, to sea aquarium, to river safari, to bukit timah hill, and lots of malls walking. It was a great month for March and I wished it didn't have to pass that fast.
Celebrating grandma's 92th birthday was super fun. And it was at my favorite restaurant; paradise inn! omg. I love their wasabi prawns like crazy. Super saving up and waiting to find a time where I'm less broke to enjoy a meal there. wasabi mayo prawn, wait for me!
More achievements include going on foodie hunt which I have only started this year. Finding on the internet for desserts places and actually making the effort to go down and try the food out. Learning to take foodporn pictures and at the same time, attempting not to gain weight from the food eating.
Plus the big achievement was going back to running again. Something that was well-missed over the years. Despite the feeling of running wasn't the same as before, it was still good being on the tracks and aiming for a good timing. Much thanks to my friend Kevin who called me out for a run one random day, and it continued from there. And it developed from simple running of maintaining stamina to challenging myself to run a route at MacRitchie to eventually joining my first race event in Singapore.
This year another colorful year for my hair, though it wasn't as brightly colored as I thought it would be. Started the year with straight hair before I move on bleaching my left side for a bit of red fun. From there I went further and tried dyeing four colors; red, blue, purple and green. And mainly the green remained with a hint of faded red. It went on to dyeing the whole part full green instead which received algae comments. Eventually I took the final step of dyeing my whole head red, with the bottom part being brighter. And I stay this color, for now... Until I find a hairdresser to make it all uniform.
I started baking again. Starting with simple traffic light cupcakes, before I moved on to simple cooking. Other baking adventures include muffins, brownies, cookies, oreo cheesecake and rainbow cheesecake. Oh as well as a rainbow cupcake in a cup! Still haven't found the right baking techniques especially when half the time, my baking are done through estimation. But it's worth it when the people who eat your baking enjoys it very much.
Looking forward to my first baking session with Bumpy!
What else what else? I finished my diploma and currently just started on my advanced diploma. Made new friends in the course. Argued with a lecturer as well. And got bored in class. Hahah.
Two main achievements were getting out of a relationship which was doing more harm than good to me and finding YOU to love. First one, getting out of the relationship wasn't easy when the other party doesn't accept it and HE thinks that you're still together with him even though you're trying to break up. The number of calls received and the whasapp messages asking what's wrong and why are we breaking up. It was tough, it wasn't easy but it ended. It's happy to say I moved on from what happened.
The second one was falling in love again. Something I wanted to give up on, and just find flings instead, and not care about the other party or dare to open my heart. The first half of the year was tough, the people you thought you could trust or the person you thought was helping you, ended up to be a fraud. Just when you think things couldn't get any better, hopefully not worst, life gives you a turning point.
No matter how many times I think about it, I finds it amusing about the first time I met him on that night, awkward moment at the table, even more awkward talking to realize you asked him the questions before and totally forgot until he said the answers again. Inside you're hoping he doesn't realize your mistake.
Maybe this year more different from the rest. Maybe it's a year of change and growing up. Less negative thoughts and more smiles. Less crying and iosmina at night trying to sleep. Less suicidal thoughts and more openness. More laughter and happiness. More fun and joy. More love.
1. First oversea trip with bf
2. Started my diploma course
3. No slashing
4. Joined first race event in Sinapore
5. Broke my whole life saying that I won't date an army boy
6. Become a full time, disciplined dessert eater
7. Ran my first 42km
8. Fell sick with high fever
9. Cycled over 25km at one go
10. Went drinking and never got drunk
11. Stopped social smoking
12. Started using android
13. Completed a full round at MacRitchie
14. Baked my first cheesecake and second!
15. Started driving lessons
16. First time drinking and got addicted to drinking teh
17. Attended bf's POP
18. Visited neighborhood cafes
19. Dated an army boy
20. Change my spectacles which never happened for five years
21. Wore spectacles out in public
22. Failed my first driving test
23. Used a kindle and read so much books as well
24. Played my gameboy (fond memories)
25. Finished my one year probation
26. Finished my longest part-time job
27. Pulled out my wisdom teeth
28. Went into Changi prison
29. Got scratched badly by a kitten
30. Worked at a day care and got called Miss Lim
31. Finally dyed my hair red
32. Wore red contact lens
33. Completed my diploma course
34. Started on advanced diploma course
35. Started but didn't finish reading my first sci-fri/fantasy book
36. Spend Christmas studying
37. Had my first and second B&J ice cream cone
38. Started a saving bottle
39. Had a worst acne breakout
40. Had my first dress bought by bf
41. Attended so many street events and won so many goodies
42. Watched movies with bf's family
43. Cut my hair short again (OMG)
44. Owning more dresses
45. Attempted abs training
46. Learned how to make a midori sour and be a temp bartender for 5 minutes
47. Took care of my bf!
I think there's more but for now that's all that I can think of. The best achievement is being in a relationship with an awesome, loving and dearest boyfriend.
And what happen next, of course would be thinking of new year resolution. Hmm.
1. Spend less, must be thrifty
2. Wear spectacles more often and look after eyes
3. Be more patience, appreciative and understanding.
4. No dyeing of hair at least for a year
5. Less anger in my tone of voice
19. Dated an army boy
20. Change my spectacles which never happened for five years
21. Wore spectacles out in public
22. Failed my first driving test
23. Used a kindle and read so much books as well
24. Played my gameboy (fond memories)
25. Finished my one year probation
26. Finished my longest part-time job
27. Pulled out my wisdom teeth
28. Went into Changi prison
29. Got scratched badly by a kitten
30. Worked at a day care and got called Miss Lim
31. Finally dyed my hair red
32. Wore red contact lens
33. Completed my diploma course
34. Started on advanced diploma course
35. Started but didn't finish reading my first sci-fri/fantasy book
36. Spend Christmas studying
37. Had my first and second B&J ice cream cone
38. Started a saving bottle
39. Had a worst acne breakout
40. Had my first dress bought by bf
41. Attended so many street events and won so many goodies
42. Watched movies with bf's family
43. Cut my hair short again (OMG)
44. Owning more dresses
45. Attempted abs training
46. Learned how to make a midori sour and be a temp bartender for 5 minutes
47. Took care of my bf!
I think there's more but for now that's all that I can think of. The best achievement is being in a relationship with an awesome, loving and dearest boyfriend.
And what happen next, of course would be thinking of new year resolution. Hmm.
1. Spend less, must be thrifty
2. Wear spectacles more often and look after eyes
3. Be more patience, appreciative and understanding.
4. No dyeing of hair at least for a year
5. Less anger in my tone of voice
Maybe it's also amazing that I'm alive now, and not thinking of suicidal thoughts when a year ago, I was determined to end it all. Telling myself that by Feb if nothing goes well, I go. I mean now looking back, you do wondered what were you thinking then, and how it was like. Moving forward a year later, you learned that maybe life do bring about a few surprises and you never know what's round the corner.
Maybe it was the amount of negativity and thoughts running through my mind all the time that brings me down, maybe I feel awkward sharing with people personal stuffs, maybe sometimes I said too much and wished I would just shut up and ignore everything around me. Just maybe.
I definitely do not know what 2014 will bring. But hey, bring it on!
Maybe it was the amount of negativity and thoughts running through my mind all the time that brings me down, maybe I feel awkward sharing with people personal stuffs, maybe sometimes I said too much and wished I would just shut up and ignore everything around me. Just maybe.
I definitely do not know what 2014 will bring. But hey, bring it on!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Don't stop chasing
"I think that one of the biggest reason why relationships do not work out in the long run is because at one point, one side (or both) stops trying. Before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. They would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. They would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face. But once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. The 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. The constant calls turn into not calling at all. And the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. In order for a relationship to work, don’t ever stop chasing. Just because the person you want is now consider “yours”, it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over."
What is the scariest thing that happened during a relationship? Is it when arguments occur more often? Couples aren't seeing eye to eye and realize the flaws that their partner had, is now becoming the question of why are you like that? Or is it when one side gave up doing their best 'cause the other party isn't giving in or compromising?
What does it mean to don't stop chasing?
Maybe at the beginning, you gave the person your time, your world, your listening ears and your eyes. But gradually, as things become more comfortable, you start to give her less. And make her give in more. Maybe more time to your bros because you always hang out with them every week, more time to gaming 'cause that's your favorite past time and maybe more time to family cause that's just how it is. But when she asks something from you, there's a slight moment of hesitation. Why?
Maybe it could be something simple of going to her place for dinner. Yet that moment of slight hesitation makes her wonder whether you do enjoy spending time at her place. Or even when you agreed in the end, but after dinner you're looking to leaving the place already to head somewhere else. What does it make her feel? That you aren't interested in spending time with her family, that you're having another appointment elsewhere that you need be at instead, what is?
On the other side, does it make you think that her spending time with your family every week counts as well? That she doesn't tell you she wants to leave at a certain time the moment dinner is over? Does she complain that she spends so much time at your place, yet you don't volunteer to do the same? Sometimes it leave behind a question of doubt in the air.
Don't stop chasing. How often do we practice that in our relationship. The mushy calls usually have a lot of 'I love you' in the conversation. Sometimes there would be the silent pause and you wonder if you have to be the one again to start a new topic. It seemed tiring. It is tiring when the other party isn't contributing.
Maybe then guys will say that girls are being overly sensitive with things and we shouldn't think so much into what a person say. But yet we are just made this way, unfortunately. We girls want to know that the guys are there for us, and can be there for us. We want to know that the guys consider our opinion when we ask them. We want to know that when we ask them to do something, it means something to us when they agree. We want to be surprised. We want to be demanding at times and make you do certain things.
Maybe there is also much for me to learn about relationship. Maybe to see from different point of view. And maybe to let go here and there.
A friend once said why do I sound so angry whenever I speak. And to think I never really noticed that before. Yet it is so true when I found out how angry I sound. Why? Am I that bitter inside that I don't bother showing it, so it shows in my voice instead? Am I that angry and frustrated inside, that sometimes I just don't know how to release it or trust in someone to rant all my problems to, but silently continue letting it build up inside till perhaps one day it just explored. Life always isn't fair and no matter how much I try to make it better, maybe I'm just not happy trying so hard to make myself happy when nobody cares.
What is the scariest thing that happened during a relationship? Is it when arguments occur more often? Couples aren't seeing eye to eye and realize the flaws that their partner had, is now becoming the question of why are you like that? Or is it when one side gave up doing their best 'cause the other party isn't giving in or compromising?
What does it mean to don't stop chasing?
Maybe at the beginning, you gave the person your time, your world, your listening ears and your eyes. But gradually, as things become more comfortable, you start to give her less. And make her give in more. Maybe more time to your bros because you always hang out with them every week, more time to gaming 'cause that's your favorite past time and maybe more time to family cause that's just how it is. But when she asks something from you, there's a slight moment of hesitation. Why?
Maybe it could be something simple of going to her place for dinner. Yet that moment of slight hesitation makes her wonder whether you do enjoy spending time at her place. Or even when you agreed in the end, but after dinner you're looking to leaving the place already to head somewhere else. What does it make her feel? That you aren't interested in spending time with her family, that you're having another appointment elsewhere that you need be at instead, what is?
On the other side, does it make you think that her spending time with your family every week counts as well? That she doesn't tell you she wants to leave at a certain time the moment dinner is over? Does she complain that she spends so much time at your place, yet you don't volunteer to do the same? Sometimes it leave behind a question of doubt in the air.
Don't stop chasing. How often do we practice that in our relationship. The mushy calls usually have a lot of 'I love you' in the conversation. Sometimes there would be the silent pause and you wonder if you have to be the one again to start a new topic. It seemed tiring. It is tiring when the other party isn't contributing.
Maybe then guys will say that girls are being overly sensitive with things and we shouldn't think so much into what a person say. But yet we are just made this way, unfortunately. We girls want to know that the guys are there for us, and can be there for us. We want to know that the guys consider our opinion when we ask them. We want to know that when we ask them to do something, it means something to us when they agree. We want to be surprised. We want to be demanding at times and make you do certain things.
Maybe there is also much for me to learn about relationship. Maybe to see from different point of view. And maybe to let go here and there.
A friend once said why do I sound so angry whenever I speak. And to think I never really noticed that before. Yet it is so true when I found out how angry I sound. Why? Am I that bitter inside that I don't bother showing it, so it shows in my voice instead? Am I that angry and frustrated inside, that sometimes I just don't know how to release it or trust in someone to rant all my problems to, but silently continue letting it build up inside till perhaps one day it just explored. Life always isn't fair and no matter how much I try to make it better, maybe I'm just not happy trying so hard to make myself happy when nobody cares.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Running 42
Wanted to blog this before the day is over, and also starting a blog entry to welcome December. Just another month to the end of the year and a start of a new one. I don't know what next year will bring but much happened this year.
Today I ran my last race event of the year and it was the toughest, most exhausting and enduring race ever. The legendary standard chartered marathon. And off all distance to choose, I'm running 42km. Double good job.
The night before I had trouble sleeping, tossing and turning while telling myself that I have to sleep early. Still only about 11pm that I managed to fall asleep but waking up again about 2am. Finally at 3am I had to get up to get ready. And best of all, my dearest is just on his way home. Tsk at him, yay for me. It's funny thinking that I went to sleep and woke up AND he just finished his dota games. Lol. Excited and nervous for the event.
Thank goodness mummy send us down to orchard. Then again SMRT has so kindly started their service early to accommodate with the big race event so participants can save the cab fare and be on time for the race. Already at 4.30am and I'm standing in the line waiting for the final half hour to pass so I can get the adrenalin running. Wasnt exactly sure how I am going to finish the race but I will give it my best shot. But I also made a promise to my dearest that I would not over exceed myself as well, for two reasons; I have zero training for this marathon and it's my first time running such a long distance.
The first 10 km was bearable and did a reasonable timing of 1:10. We went pass the floating platform before heading towards north bridge road. On my mind I was thinking of pictures angle to take of flower dome and of the city buildings. Self amusement while running. Took my first drink at 10 km mark and feeling quite positive about the run. Then I remembered my doctor's advice of walking for a few mins every 10km. Following his advice, well I tried doing the same and walked for three minutes. But after that starting to jog again was a challenge. I couldn't really find my momentum and had to slow jog instead. It was alright for the next 3km until I reached the dreadful east coast park route. Never a fan of running there because of the route and bored out scenery. Yet today I had to run 17km in east coast. Much dreaded.
Of all motivation just when I was entering ecp, on the other side I see the fastest runner exiting ecp. And here I am having another 17km to go. Rahhhh. Started walking eventually cause the legs started cramping and feeling very heavy. The shoes seemed a little too right for comfort and I was just that tempted to run barefooted. Every km I passed is telling myself I'm getting closer to the finishing line.
Here also when you see runners attempting to get an energy boost through their energy gel. And frequent stops for toilet break. One super unfair thing is how guys can just pee at the bushes while us ladies need a cubicle. Not that we can just pee standing up either. The halfway mark was really far away and reaching my timing target was a challenge. I thought I would leave ecp latest at 4:30 hours but I was so wrong. I left an hour later.
During the race I made a friend through walking and he became my buddy for the remaining distance of the race, where we encouraged, joked and survived through the distance. It really makes the marathon less boring because of the company. We even cheered over the energy gel which tasted weird and shared a banana.
The last 10km was the most challenging. Your legs giving up on you, the whole lower body is cramping and tired. You want to give up and just not walk anymore. You want to slow down in the walking pace and you want to go home to sleep. At times it was a little yawning while walking and feeling the hunger knowing you only had two bananas for breakfast.
A km never felt so far until today.
The final 5km gave me more motivation to pick up my pace, telling myself that I'm that close. The encouragement texts and messages further helped and you just look forward to seeing your bf at the finish line. Best motivation ever!
Final 100m ad I sprinted like crazy. Suddenly the legs don't hurt anymore just in that moment and you just want to cross the line. But after crossing the line it was a bad crumple down to the floor on the wobbly legs. Had to apply muscle rub before I could slowly make my way over. Collecting my finisher tee and medal was a big sense of achievement.
Seeing my boy was happier. Until my vision changed color and I started seeing yellow. Knowing what might happen next, I warned him and grab him tight before I lost it and blacked out. Luckily medic were there to help and friendly passer by who gave their chocolate bar and 100 plus. Probably happened out of exhaustion.
My achievement? Finishing the race whether I walked or ran and did a bad timing. But it was a good experience though not one I would want to experience it again anytime soon.
Today I ran my last race event of the year and it was the toughest, most exhausting and enduring race ever. The legendary standard chartered marathon. And off all distance to choose, I'm running 42km. Double good job.
The night before I had trouble sleeping, tossing and turning while telling myself that I have to sleep early. Still only about 11pm that I managed to fall asleep but waking up again about 2am. Finally at 3am I had to get up to get ready. And best of all, my dearest is just on his way home. Tsk at him, yay for me. It's funny thinking that I went to sleep and woke up AND he just finished his dota games. Lol. Excited and nervous for the event.
Thank goodness mummy send us down to orchard. Then again SMRT has so kindly started their service early to accommodate with the big race event so participants can save the cab fare and be on time for the race. Already at 4.30am and I'm standing in the line waiting for the final half hour to pass so I can get the adrenalin running. Wasnt exactly sure how I am going to finish the race but I will give it my best shot. But I also made a promise to my dearest that I would not over exceed myself as well, for two reasons; I have zero training for this marathon and it's my first time running such a long distance.
The first 10 km was bearable and did a reasonable timing of 1:10. We went pass the floating platform before heading towards north bridge road. On my mind I was thinking of pictures angle to take of flower dome and of the city buildings. Self amusement while running. Took my first drink at 10 km mark and feeling quite positive about the run. Then I remembered my doctor's advice of walking for a few mins every 10km. Following his advice, well I tried doing the same and walked for three minutes. But after that starting to jog again was a challenge. I couldn't really find my momentum and had to slow jog instead. It was alright for the next 3km until I reached the dreadful east coast park route. Never a fan of running there because of the route and bored out scenery. Yet today I had to run 17km in east coast. Much dreaded.
Of all motivation just when I was entering ecp, on the other side I see the fastest runner exiting ecp. And here I am having another 17km to go. Rahhhh. Started walking eventually cause the legs started cramping and feeling very heavy. The shoes seemed a little too right for comfort and I was just that tempted to run barefooted. Every km I passed is telling myself I'm getting closer to the finishing line.
Here also when you see runners attempting to get an energy boost through their energy gel. And frequent stops for toilet break. One super unfair thing is how guys can just pee at the bushes while us ladies need a cubicle. Not that we can just pee standing up either. The halfway mark was really far away and reaching my timing target was a challenge. I thought I would leave ecp latest at 4:30 hours but I was so wrong. I left an hour later.
During the race I made a friend through walking and he became my buddy for the remaining distance of the race, where we encouraged, joked and survived through the distance. It really makes the marathon less boring because of the company. We even cheered over the energy gel which tasted weird and shared a banana.
The last 10km was the most challenging. Your legs giving up on you, the whole lower body is cramping and tired. You want to give up and just not walk anymore. You want to slow down in the walking pace and you want to go home to sleep. At times it was a little yawning while walking and feeling the hunger knowing you only had two bananas for breakfast.
A km never felt so far until today.
The final 5km gave me more motivation to pick up my pace, telling myself that I'm that close. The encouragement texts and messages further helped and you just look forward to seeing your bf at the finish line. Best motivation ever!
Final 100m ad I sprinted like crazy. Suddenly the legs don't hurt anymore just in that moment and you just want to cross the line. But after crossing the line it was a bad crumple down to the floor on the wobbly legs. Had to apply muscle rub before I could slowly make my way over. Collecting my finisher tee and medal was a big sense of achievement.
Seeing my boy was happier. Until my vision changed color and I started seeing yellow. Knowing what might happen next, I warned him and grab him tight before I lost it and blacked out. Luckily medic were there to help and friendly passer by who gave their chocolate bar and 100 plus. Probably happened out of exhaustion.
My achievement? Finishing the race whether I walked or ran and did a bad timing. But it was a good experience though not one I would want to experience it again anytime soon.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Slack November
Currently about to murder my phone. Still am very sure that no IT gadgets ever like me and secretly they are plotting with each other to break down on me. First the blogging page on my computer which still I don't know how to solve it and now my phone. Seriously. The whole day it was alright and the day before and the day before before. But just now when I reached home and plug in to charge, it just refuse to charge at all and I panicked! Whether it's cause I spoilt the charger or what happen, I plug it in with my portable charger but it still don't really charged. Frustrated I left it there and went to shower. When I came back I saw that it was somewhat charging in the sense that it kept going into car mode and only then it would charged. But because of that I can't do anything on my phone and it also keep blacking out. Currently left the phone off with battery out, let's hope it get better.
One last week of holidays and I'm back to school next week. Honestly I don't feel ready for class, I don't look forward to waking up for 8.30am and I don't feel that excited to meeting new friends. Maybe it's also because December is suppose to be a fun month but now it's studying and exams after Christmas, it does dampen the mood for the festival period. Plus I was really looking forward to spending a nice Christmas with my boy.
But like what he told me, we don't have to spend it on the day itself. Instead we will celebrate it all month long whether early or belated. It most certainly made me feel happier that he's alright with it. Inside you know it still sucks to be studying on Christmas Day but oh well. Let's hope I have a fun countdown this year.
Anyway back to slack November. It is another slack month for me this year and I do feel like a bum waking up late every morning and being able to just laze in bed without doing anything. Though on the bad side I haven't done some stuffs that I am suppose to do this month. Good and bad side of slacking. But it is a good month to rest and recharge for the next busy six months ahead.
P.s. How do I get rid of those unwanted advertisement on the blog page??!!
One last week of holidays and I'm back to school next week. Honestly I don't feel ready for class, I don't look forward to waking up for 8.30am and I don't feel that excited to meeting new friends. Maybe it's also because December is suppose to be a fun month but now it's studying and exams after Christmas, it does dampen the mood for the festival period. Plus I was really looking forward to spending a nice Christmas with my boy.
But like what he told me, we don't have to spend it on the day itself. Instead we will celebrate it all month long whether early or belated. It most certainly made me feel happier that he's alright with it. Inside you know it still sucks to be studying on Christmas Day but oh well. Let's hope I have a fun countdown this year.
Anyway back to slack November. It is another slack month for me this year and I do feel like a bum waking up late every morning and being able to just laze in bed without doing anything. Though on the bad side I haven't done some stuffs that I am suppose to do this month. Good and bad side of slacking. But it is a good month to rest and recharge for the next busy six months ahead.
P.s. How do I get rid of those unwanted advertisement on the blog page??!!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Dating you
I watched from the second floor as he walked through the mall entrance, not knowing that I have seen him entering.
It was a game of hide and seek. The rule is simple, find me.
'On second thought, maybe it isn't a very good idea. Is it okay for you to come over?'
'Where is your location?'
'Outside left foot'.
In that split moment it left me wondering, 'left foot, as in minion left foot?' I wanted to ask but I didn't see him walking out of the mall. Still I guessed he probably could have sneaked out while I wasn't paying attention. Heading down the escalator, I turned right instead of my usual left. Walking on I passed a pillar and got a shock, I was the seeker instead and he was,in a way, hiding behind the pillar.
'Hey you'.
Awkward silence. But in his hands were panadol and a bottle of water. He gave them to me, mainly for the relief of my headache. Surprised yet a sweet gesture, coming from a person I barely know, and having met only once.
Yet the confession amused me when he confessed how he normally don't buy Panadol but 'borrowed' them instead. But he bought them for me. Yes maybe I was taken in by his gesture that moment, that day.
But that marks the start of our first date.
Fast forward five months, here we are.
I used to tell myself that I never want to date an army boy (or guy). Mainly to avoid the hassle and troubles of them booking in and out only on weekend, suffering through their confinement or worst, getting send oversea for days without communication. I never want to go through all these and to save myself these trouble, I rather not date one.
But I knew from the start that he was about to be enlisted. Was it in my mind to reject him if he ever confessed that he like me? Maybe give a lame reason that I'm not looking for a relationship. Or better still, admit that I'm a lesbian and is in a committed relationship.
And if we were to get together, I was nowhere prepared for what to expect when he enlisted. I wasn't even sure of I could go through it. I mean what could I prepare for, put it into perspective that it is a long distance relationship in which you only see each other on weekends? Be less emotionally attached so it doesn't bother you that much when he's inside camp? Forget that you have a boyfr during weekdays (hahaha!) or simply accepting it? Won't the easier way be don't even date him in the first place? Simple answer, simple solution.
But. The irony that now I'm not just dating but in a relationship with an army man (heheh!) whom I'm happy and blessed to be together with. Yes it goes against all that I didn't wanted. Sometimes I ask myself, is it worth it? Suffered the three weeks confinement period, having to wait at night everyday for his calls and making use of the time before he gets tired and goes to sleep, being patience and know that now you can't inform him of things immediately but there a time delay, saving my weekends all for him, sometimes canceling plans cause he is tired and wants to rest at home, knowing that there is only that much that can be done within two (or less) days, charging the house phone everyday to chat with him, knowing you can't use time as an excuse because it's not cause he don't want to but because he can't, hugging him when he's all dirty and smelly from camp, six weeks of picking him up at tampines interchange, the thought of Sunday night book in, the tired boy who fell asleep on your calls, the headache felt when he returned on weekends with cuts from training and suddenly looking at a botak head soldier (yea the initial looking at him botak actually shocked me and made me wondered did his new look bothered me?). Yes I questioned myself, is it worth it?
Yes it was.
It became worth it knowing he allocates most of his time for me, staying up late to talk on the phone even though he is tired and he needs to wake up at 4.45am (or earlier) the next day, staying awake and focused on hearing what I said on the phone, making my weekend worthwhile looking forward to instead of saying it's just another weekend, hearing his voice every night, learning how precious time is and how you want to spend it right, learning that patience is a virtue, reading the little messages that he leave for me during the day (when he can) to encourage me, knowing that when I spam him messages through the day he would read them all always, appreciating the things he do for me even insisting on sending me home personally without fail, that awesome feeling when I see him every time he books out and seeing the soldier he has become.
In fact one main thing that I learned from being in a relationship with my boy is patience. The immense amount of patience to practice is huge, enormous. Why? You need patience to wait for him to get things done before being able to talk to you on the phone. You need patience to wait for his book out, especially especially times when he doesn't know either his book out time and when there are bad delays which can last not just minutes but hours. You need patience to wait for him to wake up on weekends even though you are much tempted to call him up yourself but you also know he's tired and he needs his rest. You need patience to not get angry with him when there are times where he is just too tired to do much on the weekend even though you have already planned activities. You need just that amount of patience to get you through. And I do struggle with that many times. Because it's just not easy and patience is never my virtue.
Do I regret dating an army man? No.
The five months taught me much, taught both of us much more. And even though our first meeting went weird and our first date was impromptu and super unplanned, it's amusing to see how it ended up here, being together.
Maybe a little overly mushy post. Bear with me.
But there are much to love about him. His expressions, dramatic. His walking style. The impromptu funny ideas we both shared and agreed, doesn't matter how hilarious or crazy it is. His sense of concern. His reactions. His goosebumps. Thoughtfulness. Overly mushiness. Appreciation and manners. And the way he looks at you and you know you're the only one he wants to look at.
Five months down. And much more to go.
Naturally no one knows what will happen in future or even what will happen tomorrow. Life is always unpredictable after all but we take one step at a time to plan.
Life is already irony enough when you're doing something you said you never wanted to do.
It was a game of hide and seek. The rule is simple, find me.
'On second thought, maybe it isn't a very good idea. Is it okay for you to come over?'
'Where is your location?'
'Outside left foot'.
In that split moment it left me wondering, 'left foot, as in minion left foot?' I wanted to ask but I didn't see him walking out of the mall. Still I guessed he probably could have sneaked out while I wasn't paying attention. Heading down the escalator, I turned right instead of my usual left. Walking on I passed a pillar and got a shock, I was the seeker instead and he was,in a way, hiding behind the pillar.
'Hey you'.
Awkward silence. But in his hands were panadol and a bottle of water. He gave them to me, mainly for the relief of my headache. Surprised yet a sweet gesture, coming from a person I barely know, and having met only once.
Yet the confession amused me when he confessed how he normally don't buy Panadol but 'borrowed' them instead. But he bought them for me. Yes maybe I was taken in by his gesture that moment, that day.
But that marks the start of our first date.
Fast forward five months, here we are.
I used to tell myself that I never want to date an army boy (or guy). Mainly to avoid the hassle and troubles of them booking in and out only on weekend, suffering through their confinement or worst, getting send oversea for days without communication. I never want to go through all these and to save myself these trouble, I rather not date one.
But I knew from the start that he was about to be enlisted. Was it in my mind to reject him if he ever confessed that he like me? Maybe give a lame reason that I'm not looking for a relationship. Or better still, admit that I'm a lesbian and is in a committed relationship.
And if we were to get together, I was nowhere prepared for what to expect when he enlisted. I wasn't even sure of I could go through it. I mean what could I prepare for, put it into perspective that it is a long distance relationship in which you only see each other on weekends? Be less emotionally attached so it doesn't bother you that much when he's inside camp? Forget that you have a boyfr during weekdays (hahaha!) or simply accepting it? Won't the easier way be don't even date him in the first place? Simple answer, simple solution.
But. The irony that now I'm not just dating but in a relationship with an army man (heheh!) whom I'm happy and blessed to be together with. Yes it goes against all that I didn't wanted. Sometimes I ask myself, is it worth it? Suffered the three weeks confinement period, having to wait at night everyday for his calls and making use of the time before he gets tired and goes to sleep, being patience and know that now you can't inform him of things immediately but there a time delay, saving my weekends all for him, sometimes canceling plans cause he is tired and wants to rest at home, knowing that there is only that much that can be done within two (or less) days, charging the house phone everyday to chat with him, knowing you can't use time as an excuse because it's not cause he don't want to but because he can't, hugging him when he's all dirty and smelly from camp, six weeks of picking him up at tampines interchange, the thought of Sunday night book in, the tired boy who fell asleep on your calls, the headache felt when he returned on weekends with cuts from training and suddenly looking at a botak head soldier (yea the initial looking at him botak actually shocked me and made me wondered did his new look bothered me?). Yes I questioned myself, is it worth it?
Yes it was.
It became worth it knowing he allocates most of his time for me, staying up late to talk on the phone even though he is tired and he needs to wake up at 4.45am (or earlier) the next day, staying awake and focused on hearing what I said on the phone, making my weekend worthwhile looking forward to instead of saying it's just another weekend, hearing his voice every night, learning how precious time is and how you want to spend it right, learning that patience is a virtue, reading the little messages that he leave for me during the day (when he can) to encourage me, knowing that when I spam him messages through the day he would read them all always, appreciating the things he do for me even insisting on sending me home personally without fail, that awesome feeling when I see him every time he books out and seeing the soldier he has become.
In fact one main thing that I learned from being in a relationship with my boy is patience. The immense amount of patience to practice is huge, enormous. Why? You need patience to wait for him to get things done before being able to talk to you on the phone. You need patience to wait for his book out, especially especially times when he doesn't know either his book out time and when there are bad delays which can last not just minutes but hours. You need patience to wait for him to wake up on weekends even though you are much tempted to call him up yourself but you also know he's tired and he needs his rest. You need patience to not get angry with him when there are times where he is just too tired to do much on the weekend even though you have already planned activities. You need just that amount of patience to get you through. And I do struggle with that many times. Because it's just not easy and patience is never my virtue.
Do I regret dating an army man? No.
The five months taught me much, taught both of us much more. And even though our first meeting went weird and our first date was impromptu and super unplanned, it's amusing to see how it ended up here, being together.
Maybe a little overly mushy post. Bear with me.
But there are much to love about him. His expressions, dramatic. His walking style. The impromptu funny ideas we both shared and agreed, doesn't matter how hilarious or crazy it is. His sense of concern. His reactions. His goosebumps. Thoughtfulness. Overly mushiness. Appreciation and manners. And the way he looks at you and you know you're the only one he wants to look at.
Five months down. And much more to go.
Naturally no one knows what will happen in future or even what will happen tomorrow. Life is always unpredictable after all but we take one step at a time to plan.
Life is already irony enough when you're doing something you said you never wanted to do.
Annoyance
The longest I haven't been typing on my blog and my frustration increase each day. It seemed as though my Internet browser is suffering from virus attack or something is up with the useless ads that keep posting on the web page whenever I want to type a post, as such I can't post anything on my blog for weeks. Still yet to figure out the issue, maybe to reinstall my Internet browser again. And mind you I tried it with google chrome and Firefox, both didn't work.
November holidays are here for me and ever since exams ended and holidays started, well, my days are mainly slacking in the morning but stressful and annoying in the afternoon. Another week and my holidays would have ended. Don't think I can confidently said I spend it well, yet I feel it was a good rest also before December kicks in and studies kick in again. The next six months going to go pass very fast, that's for sure and I'll definitely look forward to the end of my course next year. Firstly it makes the end of my diploma course, the mark of my first year anniversary with my love (I know we will be together then and longer!) and a holiday trip to look forward to. As much as it isn't the destination that I wanted to go, still it is a place I haven't been to before and would love to visit.
As the year end draws near, reflections start kicking in unconsciously into your mind, questioning whether you have live up to your new year resolution, whether you did something good this year or whether have you changed for the better. Definitely I'll dedicate a post for that in December to perhaps write a short summary of this year. But with a warning that it is my personal post and whatever thoughts anyone would have after reading it, I most certainly would not be interested to know. The last time I wore such a post and stopped it halfway for a good suspense, it didn't end well but the closure of a good blog. Hopefully this time would be different.
For now, guess it's easier to focus on the present and look forward to tomorrow. After all, tomorrow my love gets to book out from his outfield which I have much dreaded it for the lack of communication. A short weekend this time but that doesn't mean I can't fully utilized it either. May time pass slowly. And next Thursday to arrive faster. On a lighter note, it's a week more to my last marathon/race event of the year and guess what, I'm nowhere near prepared for the race. The thought of completing 42km taunts me everyday when I see runners jogging past me, in preparation of what to come while I'm here on my bed without much motivation to run, let alone leave my beloved bed.
It's almost 1am and I'm awake. Which only means the amount of things bothering and affecting my sleep. Lets just hope it will pass and while it's tiring to be an emotion support, you can only be positive that the person trusted you so much with their problems. And maybe on my side, I'm not ready to open everything up or trust that whoever I'm telling my issues to will understand, encourage, support, listen and not tell others. Or let alone whether I'm willing to open up when there so many things bothering you at once and you're just at the beginning of trying to sort them out and think through them.
December be nice. After all, you are my favorite month of the year.
November holidays are here for me and ever since exams ended and holidays started, well, my days are mainly slacking in the morning but stressful and annoying in the afternoon. Another week and my holidays would have ended. Don't think I can confidently said I spend it well, yet I feel it was a good rest also before December kicks in and studies kick in again. The next six months going to go pass very fast, that's for sure and I'll definitely look forward to the end of my course next year. Firstly it makes the end of my diploma course, the mark of my first year anniversary with my love (I know we will be together then and longer!) and a holiday trip to look forward to. As much as it isn't the destination that I wanted to go, still it is a place I haven't been to before and would love to visit.
As the year end draws near, reflections start kicking in unconsciously into your mind, questioning whether you have live up to your new year resolution, whether you did something good this year or whether have you changed for the better. Definitely I'll dedicate a post for that in December to perhaps write a short summary of this year. But with a warning that it is my personal post and whatever thoughts anyone would have after reading it, I most certainly would not be interested to know. The last time I wore such a post and stopped it halfway for a good suspense, it didn't end well but the closure of a good blog. Hopefully this time would be different.
For now, guess it's easier to focus on the present and look forward to tomorrow. After all, tomorrow my love gets to book out from his outfield which I have much dreaded it for the lack of communication. A short weekend this time but that doesn't mean I can't fully utilized it either. May time pass slowly. And next Thursday to arrive faster. On a lighter note, it's a week more to my last marathon/race event of the year and guess what, I'm nowhere near prepared for the race. The thought of completing 42km taunts me everyday when I see runners jogging past me, in preparation of what to come while I'm here on my bed without much motivation to run, let alone leave my beloved bed.
It's almost 1am and I'm awake. Which only means the amount of things bothering and affecting my sleep. Lets just hope it will pass and while it's tiring to be an emotion support, you can only be positive that the person trusted you so much with their problems. And maybe on my side, I'm not ready to open everything up or trust that whoever I'm telling my issues to will understand, encourage, support, listen and not tell others. Or let alone whether I'm willing to open up when there so many things bothering you at once and you're just at the beginning of trying to sort them out and think through them.
December be nice. After all, you are my favorite month of the year.
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